Reflections bring us closer to us
When I was a little girl, big eyed and innocent and adventurous, I remember being in love with the world, with myself, with possibility. Every cherry tree to climb was a mountain to conquer, every night of sleep was rest from the depth of imagination and the physical exhaustion of all the tasks this warrior princess needed to complete in a day. She needed to build a treehouse... excuse me, castle of course, she needed to ride like the wind on her wooden horse and make delicious mud food in her very rough castle kitchen.
What could ever go wrong? Absolutely nothing. After all, falling down and picking herself up was part of life, part of how she learned to walk, part of reaching those highs on the tree. She was fierce. And I lost her for a while. I became afraid.
When I was in the hospital not too long ago, I found her again. I found this free spirit, uncompromised by outer experience, fully alive through adversity and courageous in her willingness to find the path less traveled. There she was inside of me, leading the way out of suffering into love. Through joy about everything and every one around me, she showed me caring for others, caring for the world and loving deeply while I was in my hospital bed. She led me away from self pity and pain into the healing light of loving everyone else, asking everyone how they are doing, holding light for others' healing and wellbeing. I found the strength in every cell of my body to be me. 'What I do is me: for hat I came.' - 'As Kingfishers catch fire' by Hopkins.
In awe I look over the trees and mountains and say: I am alive.